The Triple S
Don’t be scared! Yea you! You know who you are. It’s always the same story, whether on the platform, or on the train, walking or standing on the city streets. As you see me coming towards you, our eyes quickly meet and in the next split instant you avert your eyes. Other times you see me from afar and look away quickly so that your ‘looking in the other direction’ stare is well in place by the time I walk pass. There are the days you completely turn your body as you see me approach, leaving no opportunity for our eyes to speak. And then there are the days where you daringly look at me and say not a word. Although we are complete strangers, I know you and you know me. We both know that odds are I will ask something of you. Something I cannot get from any of the other strangers littered around us and for this reason you shun my advances. Despite the numerous permutations in which this situation occurs between us, I’ve yet to put a name to the feeling that must wash over you to cause such a reaction. This feeling pushes you to avoid being singled out by me in any way. Sometimes I catch you before you can hide forcing you to allow my request to fall into a pit of noise in the concrete jungle. My words fall amidst the yelling of the screeching hyenas beneath the subway cars, the blaring horns of the yellow baby elephants, or the melody of music, laughter, and banter. Each its own unique melody that carries my words to your ears. Your own lips pinch shut. Swiftly shutting out any response to my request. I smile sadly to myself. It’s okay, its been noted by those we cannot see. I walk on knowing we shall meet again soon.
What is this all about you ask yourself? It’s the Triple S. The Salaam Snub Syndrome. The Salaam Snub Syndrome is a social disorder that often affects Muslim woman who wear Muslim identifying clothing such as a headscarf. It is caused by other Muslim women who wear Muslim identifying clothing such as a headscarf as well. Two visually similar individuals. Triple S is characterized by a Muslim woman who seeks to evade the Muslim greeting of ‘salaam’, given by another visually identifying Muslim woman. This woman proceeds to ignore the salaam while maintaining visual contact or avoiding any contact, therefore relieving her of the obligation of acknowledging any greeting of ‘salaam’. This condition is often balanced by Muslim men who initiate salaam with a passing Muslim woman, or men working in service industries who not only deliver the salaam to visually self identifiable Muslim women (vsMw) but seek to assist them in some way. Thereby alleviating the social distress experienced by this individual.
*Note: social syndromes with similar characteristics of preventing eye contact, avoiding the same inhabited physical space, and eschewing overall temporary association in a small or confined space with someone who has specific visual similarities, can often be found in other societal oppressed minority groups.
Symptoms
You may suffer from some degree of SSS if you:
Avoid sitting next to visually self identifiable Muslim women in public places (lest two of you be seen at the same time)
Hesitate to say salaam to visually self identifiable Muslim women
Pretend you didn’t hear the salaam of visually self identifiable Muslim women
Avert your gaze from an approaching visually self identifiable Muslim woman
Avoid places where non-Muslim may make comparisons between both you and another visually self identifiable Muslim woman
Pray to yourself that the visually self identifiable muslim woman doesn’t look your way or say salaam
Resort to smiling at visually self identifiable Muslim women to acknowledge but not have to draw attention to you two having any ‘relationship’
Are just plain embarrassed to say salaam to visually self identifiable Muslim women
Treatment
If you have been diagnosed by someone or are self-diagnosed to be suffering from SSS you should seek treatment. Some tips…
Practice saying salaam in the mirror or with friends.
Avoid the flinch! Resist the urge to turn away.
Make eye contact.
Be bold! Initiate the salaam
Imagine! Ask yourself what would happen if someone turned your way and heard the salaam
Think of the extra blessings you may need
Originally published at http://subalternvoice.org on August 8, 2012.
